Not even a week off social media, five days as of today, and my whole being already feels massively different. I’m not sure I like how I’m feeling right now, but I’m going to stick with it.

I quit drinking a few years back. And I’ve had other vices in the past which I also quit, and it’s always a similar feeling. It feels like Forrest Gump at the end of his run where he says, “I’m kind of tired. Guess I’ll go home now.” It’s like, I just don’t want to do that anymore. All of these vices, they made me feel good for a while, but then one day I just wake up and realize, I just don’t want to do that anymore.

I wouldn’t say I feel good right now, and there’s a lot swimming through my mind. It’s difficult to focus on any one thing, but also I don’t have anything to do, because I can’t just pick up my phone. I’m an avid television & movie watcher, and even those, I’m just indifferent.

The word which keeps coming to me is hollowed out. I feel hollowed out.

I feel like Frodo after the ring is thrown into the fire and he says, “it’s over. It’s done.” It feels like that was the last vice I was grasping onto, and just like Frodo in that moment, I feel like there’s nothing left. I don’t feel relieved, I feel empty.

I’m 30 years old, single, no family. I know what I want.

The lunatics have been running the asylum for as long as I can remember. An interregnum. Bad management. But idk something in my gut feels like, something has changed. Of course it’s an absolute joke what’s going on today, so yes I’m projecting, but I’m not alone. I think something has changed.

I think I might get a dog. Might mess around and start taking piano lessons.